Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize