covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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