I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
