Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
