dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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