omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This house was built for laser tag.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
