Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
