I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
