WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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