I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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