these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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