Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I am morally bankrupt
its not stalking. its research.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
