O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize