Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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