Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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