erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
