HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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