i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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