If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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