Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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