I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
