That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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