i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
