Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
