Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize