he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
