I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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