YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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