I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
