yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
