Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina is officially offended.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
