i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
