it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
