Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
