sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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