community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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