I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
