I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
