I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
