I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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