They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
