My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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