at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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