McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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