I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
