he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
