yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize