I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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