nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
