Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
