anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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