When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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