She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
