She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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