Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
