I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
