Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
