You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
