I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We just shotgunned beers for America
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Drunk is not a location!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
