but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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